


The Darker Paths Are Paved With Good Intentions

by CatiiaSofiia, MissChrisDaae



Series: The Darker Path [2]
Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Canon Divergence - Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Codependency, F/M, Heavy Angst, Unhappy Ending, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-12 00:31:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19217959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatiiaSofiia/pseuds/CatiiaSofiia, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissChrisDaae/pseuds/MissChrisDaae
Summary: Everyone acts like Falling is one choice, one moment.It's many.





	1. Chapter 1

“You’re quiet tonight,” Padmé looked across the table at her husband. It was the most innocent, boring comment she could think to make. “What is it?”

Vader looked at her over the rim of his wine glass. “I’m tired,” he replied, drinking a generous gulp.

“We both are, the twins kept us up all night, I don’t think that’s what’s bothering you.”

“It’s not the twins that make me tired,” he sighed as he poured himself more wine. “It’s everything else,” he muttered.

“Tell me.” She reached over, placing a hand on top of hers. “I  _ am _ your wife, I’m meant to share your burdens.”

He snorted. “Even those you never wanted?”

“Isn’t that what we’ve done since we married?” she countered, her grip becoming firmer. “Love. Let me help.”

“You should worry about the twins and let me care about the rest,” Vader said, pulling his hand away. “I’ll manage it.”

“You’re new to politics, I’ve been doing this all my life,” Padmé pointed out. “There’s no shame in asking for help.”

“Fine, you can come with me to the Council meeting tomorrow,” he sighed, sipping from his drink.

“Thank you.” She softened slightly. “I hate to see you upset.”

“I’m not upset, I’m tired,” he corrected. “I  _ am  _ new to politics and I am not particularly fond of it all. I don’t know what Palpatine wanted to do, and I don’t know what I want to do. The Rebel cells are not helping matters,” he explained. “So, I’m tired. Not upset.”

“You can be more than one thing.” she pushed back her plate and moved to his side, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Come to the nursery. Spend a little time with the twins, you feel better when you’re holding them, don’t you?”

“I do, but they’re asleep, aren’t they? I would hate to disturb them.”

“If we’re careful, they won’t stir,” Padmé promised, kissing his cheek. “Besides, they’ll be awake again soon enough, we’ve yet to have them sleep more than two hours at a time.”

“They are hungry little things,” he chuckled and pushed his plate too, standing up. “Let’s go.” She smiled serenely, lacing her fingers with his as they walked towards the nursery.

“We turned on the HoloNet today. Leia recognized you.”

“Leia’s five months old, how could she?” Vader raised one eyebrow.

“She squealed when she saw you,” Padmé answered. “She knows you, I don’t understand how, but she knows you. It woke up her brother.”

“I think it has more to do with our Force bond,” he smiled. “She’s very intuitive.”

“Your face lights up when you talk about them.”

“They’re my children, why wouldn’t it?” He beamed. “I love them. They’re everything to me. You three are everything to me,” he squeezed her hand.

“As you are to me,” she answered, pushing open the door to the nursery. The twins lay nestled in their crib, side by side, their tiny hands touching as they slept. “Oh, they’re precious.”

“I know,” he whispered, standing by the crib, one hand reaching to brush Luke’s thin, blonde hair. “They’re perfect,” he went on. “So innocent and pure, I don’t ever want them out of this phase.”

“But you must picture it,” she mused, watching him with the babies. “What do you imagine?”

“I imagine a lot of things. What do you want to know in specific?” He asked, eyes still captured by the children he sacrificed so much to protect, to have in his arms.

“I don’t know,” she mused. “I suppose, when I look at them, I imagine them running around Varykino, swimming and playing with friends, finding love the way we once did. They don’t have to stop being innocent and pure just because they have to grow up.”

“I definitely imagine them running around Varykino too, we should take them there when they are a little older,” he agreed. “I imagine them free. Loved. Confident in themselves,” he said. “Everything I wasn’t.”

Padmé moved closer, pressing a soft kiss to his neck. “They’ll  _ always _ be loved, Ani.”

“I know, they’ll always have us,” he nodded.

Luke’s head moved from side to side, and he began to make the little squeaks and fusses that always preempted crying. “See? I told you,” Padmé sighed, pulling aside the black lace of her dress with a sigh. Vader chuckled and leaned down on the crib to gather the baby in his arms, kissing his head as he transferred the baby to his mother’s arms. Padmé put their son to her breast, swaying back and forth slightly as he nursed. “That’s my sweet boy,” she cooed.

“Sir?” the voice of a clone trooper came from the door. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but do you have a moment? We’ve got reports of a surviving Jedi.”

“Where—” Padmé started to ask.

“It can wait until tomorrow,” Vader hissed, cutting her off. “Now leave me alone with my family.”

“Yessir, very sorry, sir. Ma’am.” The trooper left as quickly as he’d arrived, but Padmé’s grip tightened on Luke.

“Whoever it is will die, won’t they?” she guessed.

“Don’t concern yourself with that,” he said dismissively as he focused on Leia who was yawning, ready to wake up too. “That is of no importance when we’re with them,” he smiled as his daughter opened her eyes. “Hi, baby girl.”

“I think she might be your favorite.” Leia squealed as she extended her hands to her father. Vader beamed and took her into his arms, swaying her from side to side, kissing her forehead, her cheeks, and her tiny fists, not replying to Padmé’s statement. “You’re certainly  _ her _ favorite,” his wife continued. “I can’t compete.”

“She loves us both and I can’t exactly feed her, so I’m not her favorite when she’s hungry,” he chuckled. 

“So, if they had a wetnurse, that’s who her favorite would be?”

“No, it would still be me,” he said cheekily.

“So you admit you  _ are _ her favorite.”

“A father always wants to be his daughter’s favorite.”

“You’re in for a hard fall when she falls in love,” Padmé predicted, shifting Luke to be burped. He complied, then yawned. “You’re behaving unusually well tonight, darling.”

“Yes, well, we’ll see about that,” he said dryly, kissing her forehead again. “To which one of us you are speaking?”

“Him, obviously. Why would you think I consider you anything other than well-behaved?” she asked innocently, laying Luke back down in the crib.

“Because I know what you really think of me,” he replied easily, letting Leia grab his finger with her whole hand.

“What I  _ used _ to think,” she corrected immediately.

“You don’t have to lie, I won’t behave like last time,” he said and passed Leia to her mother’s arms. The baby whimpered. “I know how you feel.”

“It’s not a lie,” Padmé insisted as she started feeding Leia.

“Whatever you say, love,” Vader shrugged, leaning down on the crib to caress Luke’s cheek, lulling him to sleep.

“Why do you doubt me?” she asked tearfully. “It’s been five months, haven’t I proven to you that I believe in you? In your cause, and your Empire? That I would never betray you?”

“I know you. I know you’re being loyal to your family and that you’re protecting your children and that you love them, love me in a way. I also know how you feel about Sith and the Empire. I didn’t snap my fingers and your beliefs changed,” he explained. “But I do trust that you are trying your best to come to terms with our new life and I know you love us too much to even think about betraying us.”

“It’s been five months,” she repeated, detaching Leia rather abruptly and pushing her back into her father’s arms. “And it breaks my heart to know you still doubt me. I told you once we couldn’t have a marriage without trust. And yet you still don’t listen to me.”

“Padmé,  _ kriff,  _ careful with Leia,” he scowled as Leia began to cry and wave her arms around, frightened. “We’re having a conversation, I didn’t accuse you of anything,” he cradled the baby to his chest, soothing her as her wails grew louder. 

“You accuse me of lying to you.”

“Don’t be so defensive,” Vader hissed, as he began swaying Leia to calm her. “All I said is that I knew your true feelings. I don’t think you are lying, I think you want to believe what you say but that it takes time. I’m not an idiot. I didn’t think we wouldn’t have an adjustment period,” Leia’s wails softened to whimpers as Vader managed to calm her down.

“I’ll forgive you when you come to your senses,” she said coolly. “Just as I did over your jealousy. And the time you tried to kill me. But I think I should go to bed now, the children shouldn’t have to hear us fight.”

“No and Leia didn’t finish nursing either and you had no right to rip her away from you like that,” his eyes darkened at her words. “Yes, go to bed. Do whatever you want but this time, you were the one to overreact,” Leia was still sobbing as he brushed his lips over her eyebrow. 

“Sanctimonious isn’t a good look for you,” Padmé retorted, storming towards the door. “There are bottles of milk kept for this exact purpose.  _ You _ feed her.”

“Gladly,” he snapped, holding her tighter against his chest. “Commander?” He called to the soldier standing outside the doors.

“Yes, your Grace?” He asked entering a few seconds later.

“Lady Amidala is forbidden to enter this nursery until I state otherwise. Have two nannies brought up to tend to my children,” he sighed. The Commander nodded and left the nursery as Vader grabbed one of the bottles of milk, kept nearby for emergencies, and brought the tip to Leia’s lips. “I’m sorry,” he whispered as Leia initially refused. “I know it’s not what you wanted, but it’s what we have,” eventually, she took it and started suckling, a sob racking her little body once in a while,

* * *

Padmé finished the cipher, broadcasting on the encrypted frequency with a pounding heart. For almost six months now, she had done everything to try and bring Anakin back from the Dark Side, but he only dug his heels in further, despite how she knew he was still in here. She saw it every time he looked at the twins.

If only he knew that while she tried to draw him out, she was sending messages to Bail, to Mon Mothma, to all her former colleagues who still believed in democracy. That she was betraying him in deed, though not in spirit.

When he was himself again, he’d understand. He’d forgive her. She hadn’t done anything wrong.

Then the sound of Leia crying echoed in her mind and she let out a sob she hadn’t known she was suppressing. She  _ did _ need to apologize for that. She’d let herself get too lost in the lie, to the point where it had overtaken everything. She hadn’t meant to upset their daughter.

Unless he planned on sleeping somewhere else tonight, he would have to come to the bedroom eventually, if only to get his sleepwear for the night. Swallowing her pride, she began to strip out of her own clothes, down to her slip, and sat at the vanity, running a brush through her curls. Waiting for him.

“Don’t mind me, I’m just here for some clothes,” his voice echoed through the room as he burst in, straight to the closet.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, setting down the brush and watching him in the mirror. “You were right, I was out of line, I acted rashly. Is Leia…is she alright?”

“You have no right, she’s  _ just  _ five months,” Vader snapped, not bothering to look at her as he grabbed his sleepwear and a change of clothes for the following morning. “I managed to get her sleeping, it was difficult as she was still sobbing.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt her. It was a mistake.”

“You did hurt her. It was a mistake, but she didn’t understand why you ripped her away like that. You… you can’t forget these are  _ sensitive  _ children. They know more, they feel more.” 

“I’m _sorry,_ ” she repeated tearfully. “It won’t happen again.”

“I hope not. Until you come to your normal self and I trust you won’t repeat the same show from tonight, they’ll be taken cared of by their nannies,” Vader announced, closing his bag. “And I’ll be temporarily moving to another room.”

“Please, no.” She grabbed his arm in a panic. “I’ll lose my mind without them. Without you.”

“What made you react like that? She’s a baby, you nearly dropped her as you trusted her into my arms. It was a normal conversation. You didn’t need to be defensive. I was not accusing you,” he shook his head. “Whatever it might be that you feel about our current situation, please remember that they are only alive and  _ you  _ are only alive because of what I did. Was it all good? No. But do I have the best of intentions? Yes. I’m not a monster, no matter how the Rebels paint me,” he shrugged off her hold.

“It has nothing to do with what you did,” Padmé insisted. “I don’t think you’re a monster, I don’t care about the Rebels. It has to do with the fact that I’ve failed  _ you _ . That you think you can’t trust me, that you can’t love me the way we should love each other. The way I do love you.”

“I do trust you,” he repeated his words from earlier. “I will always love you as much as I did the first time I laid eyes on you and that will never change. But I know how difficult this must be for you, what kind of husband would I be if I didn’t know?” Vader sighed. “I can only congratulate you for how well you’re adjusting. Soon, I can crown you Empress. We can even have another wedding,” he added. 

“It sounds beautiful,” she whispered softly. “But I’m surprised you’re thinking about it. You used to hate public spectacles.”

“Our wedding can be private. The coronation will have to be public,” he said as he softened.

“You’ll hate it, won’t you?”

He chuckled. “Yes. I never liked a public spectacle. All I want is peace. I know I can bring it to the Galaxy. Peace and prosperity. No corruption. I have the power to ban slavery, once and for all. The Rebels, however, think the old ways are the best,” he sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “They forget the corruption in their ranks. A Sith Lord hiding under their noses, playing them like puppets.”

“The Jedi were just as corrupt,” she pointed out. “There’s plenty of blame to share.”

“I know. I’m not saying otherwise. I would be open to hearing their demands, but they only know war,” he frowned. “I’m tired of wars. I’ve been in one for nearly four years. I want peace. And quiet.”

“Then why not let someone else handle all this?” she suggested, running her fingers through his hair and down his neck. “Why not just leave everything behind, and run away to Varykino with our babies?”

“So the Galaxy can go to hell again because some power hungry idiot took the reins?” Vader scoffed as he shivered at her touch. “I’ll consider it when the dust settles and I trust someone enough to pass the responsibility over to them.”

Padmé sighed, kissing his shoulder. “I understand. I used to think that way too. But during the day now, when I have nothing but the twins, all I can think is how much time you’re missing with them.”

“I’m keeping them safe,” he closed his eyes, hands holding her waist. “I’ll make it up to them when the Rebels are a forgotten threat.”

“You’re an Emperor, don’t you think there will always be threats? That shouldn’t prevent you from the here and now.”

“I know, I will learn to manage it, I promise,” he vowed. “I will spend more time with you and the twins.”

“You could spend time with me now,” she suggested softly.

“I would love that, Angel,” he whispered, brushing his lips against hers. “I miss you.” 

“I’ve missed you too.” She returned the kiss with an aching sigh. “I love you, so much, it kills me that I’ve done anything to hurt you, to hurt our family, that was never what I wanted.”

“It’s alright, don’t worry, we all overreact,” he said soothingly. “I love you. More than you can possibly imagine. I promise I will still make you very, very happy and that we’ll soon have peace.”

“Hold me,” she whispered, leaning into him. “Let’s forget everything right now, everything but us.”

“I would love that very much,” he smiled, wrapping his arms around her.

* * *

He didn’t know the codebreaker’s name. Nor did it matter. With the news that he’d brought, the man was lucky not to be dead right now. “I’m sorry, your Grace, I hope I’m wrong. I really do.”

“Repeat that to me. Slowly. Your life depends on it,” Vader hissed, golden eyes shining with barely kept rage.

“We intercepted a coded message sent on an encrypted channel to a Rebel cell. Sent from the Palace. The cipher is one commonly used by the Monarchs of Naboo,” the man answered timidly. “We think it was sent by Lady Amidala.”

“Take him,” he ordered, seething. “Hold him in one of the cells until I decide what I will do with his miserable life should the information he provides be wrong.” The troopers on duty surrounded the unfortunate man, dragging him away while he struggled wildly.

“Where’s my wife?” Vader asked icily.

“I don’t know, sir,” Cody said hesitantly. “Probably in the nursery with the Prince and Princess? Isn’t that where she usually is when you aren’t with her?”

“Take her to the throne room but don’t hurt her and make sure it’s done calmly,” he ordered. “Secure my children. Make her wait for me. I need to search for something.”

“Yessir.” Cody saluted and left without another word.

With Cody gone, Vader left the office, hurrying to the room he shared with Padmé, praying to every God in the Galaxy that the intel was wrong. That he was not being betrayed by the one he thought was the most faithful, the most trusting person of his life. He pushed his feelings aside, as they would cripple him if he let them flow freely through him.

After everything she’d said about trust, surely she couldn’t be that hypocritical. She couldn’t have lied to him so blatantly. She wouldn’t betray the  _ twins _ like this.

The first thing he tore apart was the closet. Dresses and shoes on the floor as he searched wildly for the hidden comm. After that was done, he flipped the mattress on the bed, sending the lamps on the bedside crash. As he reached her vanity and opened her jewelry box, he stilled, eyes widening and he had to sit down as, with a trembling hand, he grabbed the japor snippet he had given her so many, many years ago. As he unwrapped the leather cord, the commlink fell on his hand and he felt as he had just been stabbed directly in his heart.

_ Why, Padmé? _

He stood and in his mind, he already knew what he had to do. He thought about it over and over again as he walked towards the throne room, his steps slowing down as he neared the doors, knowing that nothing would be the same. He wouldn’t be the same. He had fought so hard for them to be together, to be a family. He had fought so hard to make sure she lived to be with him, to raise her children and she had still betrayed him.

Padmé stood waiting for him, proud and unexpectedly calm, even with clones surrounding her. “What is it?”

“Leave us,” he requested the clones. Nodding, the clones left the throne room and closed the doors behind them. Vader grabbed the commlink and threw it at her feet. “I found this. Curious little thing. Nearly had me killed a few nights ago when the Rebels intercepted a trip I made to Kamino, because of the  _ injured  _ clones.”

She blinked slowly, tilting her head. “Any number of commlinks could’ve sent that message, what makes you think it was that particular one?”

“It was wrapped around the japor snippet, hidden away in your jewelry box and the Palace’s codebreaker deciphered the code used in sending the message to the Rebels. It was previously used by the Monarchs of Naboo. You’re the only one from Naboo in this Palace who knows that code,” he spoke extremely calm.

“How do you know it wasn’t sent from somewhere else? Naboo has no shortage of former Monarchs who disagree with your reforms.”

“There is only one  _ living  _ in this Palace, where the message was traced,” he hissed. “Start telling me the truth, Padmé. Did you or did you not send this message and others prior to the Rebels?”

“I have never sent any message that would endanger you,” she retorted. “I would never hurt you like that.”

He raised his chin. “I’ll be sure to tell that to the codebreaker once he is sentenced to death for treason. After all, he took a big risk accusing you, the wife of the Emperor, of treason herself, so he must be hiding something.”

“Or he simply made a mistake. Those do happen.”

“He should have thought better before making an accusation,” Vader shrugged. “Now he’ll pay with his life.”

“You’re overreacting,” she protested. “Accidents happen, misunderstandings happen, they shouldn’t cost people their lives.”

“Then tell me the  _ kriffing  _ truth,” he bellowed. “You’re lying. I  _ know  _ you are lying. Why would you have a commlink hidden?”

Now it was her turn to raise her chin, the white hood of her dress slipping back in the process. “I communicated with a few of my old friends in the Senate. I don’t deny it. I did not tell you because I did not think you would approve, but I have always acted for the good of our family. I have done nothing wrong.”

“Old friends in the Senate?” He took a few steps forward. “Like who? Good old Bail Organa? Mon Mothma? The same morons who are behind the childish Rebellion?” Vader hissed. “The good of our family, how very dutiful of you. Duty above all, right?”

“Anakin—”

“Did you betray me?” He asked, calmly, staring into her eyes.

“ _ Never, _ ” she insisted.

“I’m going to ask you again,” he took a deep breath. “Did you betray me, by sending encrypted messages to Bail Organa or Mon Mothma or any other Rebel sympathizer?”

“I did not betray you,” she repeated. “I sent messages to them, but I did not betray  _ you. _ ” It was that emphasis that made him understand.

“You betrayed Darth Vader, you mean,” his eyes narrowed. “Because he’s not your husband. He’s not the person you fell in love with.”

“Just because the Republic failed, that doesn’t mean the answer is to burn it to the ground and replace it with a dictatorship.” She deliberately ignored his accusation. “I betrayed a thing that should not exist.”

“I am not the one that planned the Empire, but I was the one that got stuck with it when I killed Palpatine to  _ save  _ your life. He was planning on letting you die so he would have my undivided attention and I didn’t think of the power, I didn’t think of the Empire when I did it, I thought about saving my wife and giving my children a mother,” he screamed. “But I have the Empire on my shoulders now and I can make a difference. A good difference. But you don’t care. You don’t care about the ideas that I have for  _ peace _ . You don’t care because all you see is a Sith, when I don’t consider myself a Sith nor a Jedi. I am the balance of the Force and it implies using both sides. Be both.”

“As long as this Empire exists, it makes you a dictator!” she argued. “It will corrupt you in a way that has nothing to do with the Force!”

“I was hoping you would be by my side, to help me guide through these waters but you care more about returning to a time of war, misery, starvation, and slavery, where politicians all gathered in a room and argued until they grew hungry or tired without anything to show for their work,” he accused. “The Empire is here to  _ stay.  _ I will lead it to greatness. To prosperity. I will end slavery and save millions of lives but you…  _ you  _ won’t be here, at my side, to see it. I am realizing how foolish I was to have believed you before,” he shook his head in disappointment. “It was why you got so defensive last time. You thought I had discovered you. I should have known but I never thought… I love you. You were the only good thing I had in my life for years, I turned my world upside down to save you. I thought you accepted me. I thought I could trust you,” he bit the inside of his cheek, unable to control all of his emotions.

“Anakin, I still love you,” she implored. “I love you, I love our children, and I know that we can have what we wanted, but not like this. Not in a place like this. I did what I did to make you see reason, to bring you back to the man you were.”

“But I’m not the same,” he cried out. “I haven’t been the man you married for a  _ long  _ time. The war chipped away at me, it changed me. In ways you can’t imagine. I’ve suffered more than you know and I’ve lost more than you imagine. I am  _ not the same  _ and I  _ won’t be the man you married  _ so long ago because he’s gone. The Jedi broke him and the war destroyed him,” he snapped.

“Ani,  _ no _ . That’s not true, you’re still in there, I see it when you’re with the twins.”

“I will always be a good father to them and I will love them and put them above all else. They don’t look at me as a Sith, as a monster, or a dictator. I’m just Daddy and their love is so pure, they accept me, they love me,” his eyes grew bright. “I am Anakin Skywalker the same way I am Darth Vader and I finally found peace with both sides. You can accept this or you can’t.”

“Why?” she asked. “Why do you insist on doing this? Issuing ultimatums, conditions, caging me in until I don’t have any other choice? How is that  _ love _ ?”

Vader ignored her question. “You have a choice. Make it. Can you accept me?”

“Answer me!” She snarled like a nexu. “You can talk all you want about peace and prosperity, but you stand here, telling me that I have to bend to your will as if you were my  _ master _ rather than my husband! Why? Are you trying to force me away? Am I not worth it if I’m not your perfect, biddable piece of property?”

He looked at her for a few minutes, unable to answer immediately. “I love you. I have loved you for years and I am dedicated to you in every way possible. All I wanted was to have our family together, to be happy at your side. Our children are healthy. They are beautiful. I don’t want you to bend to my will, I wanted you to be truthful. I wanted to be able to trust you. You were always free to leave as you are right now. I have never wanted, and if I did, I apologize, to make you feel trapped or like a property,” he said quietly. “However, I can’t sweep the betrayal underneath the rug and forget about it.”

“You  _ know _ that’s a lie. I have never been free to leave,” she snapped. “Because you and I both know I would never deprive our children of a parent, of  _ either _ parent. You’ve used them as leverage, time and again, to make me behave the way you want me to. You hold all the cards here, and I am completely at your mercy!”

“I will not allow you to fill their heads with lies about me. I wish it could have been different, Padmé, I really do,” he said coldly, taking a few steps back. “You are banished from Imperial Center for your treason. Cody,” he called and the Commander opened the doors.

“No. No, you can’t. You can’t do this, I’m their  _ mother _ ,” Padmé protested.

“Take Lady Amidala to my ship. Unharmed. I will be taking her out of Imperial Center,” he said robotically as he turned to leave.

“Anakin,  _ please _ ,” she begged. “If you do this, you’re no better than the Jedi taking you from your Mother. You know this is wrong,  _ please _ !”

Vader walked away, tears streaming down his face as he quickened his pace, unable to hear her protests any longer. Even so, they echoed down the halls after him.

* * *

Naboo had been beautiful once. But without her family, it meant nothing. “Please don’t do this,” she begged Vader one last time. “Please, Anakin, please, the twins will need me.”

“You should have thought about that,” he said emotionlessly as the ramp lowered. “It’s too late.”

“It doesn’t have to be. This is  _ your _ choice!”

Vader dragged her behind him down the ramp and pushed her into the solid ground. “I forgive you for betraying me. I will never forget it, though and I will never, ever trust you again and I won’t live with someone with whom I will be constantly wondering what side they’re on. I hope your cause is worthy. I hope the Republic  _ was  _ worth our relationship. Goodbye, Padmé,” he turned around and climbed the ramp.

“You’ll destroy them!” she screamed. “You will ruin all goodness and purity you love in them, you’ll make them into monsters just like Palpatine did to you! You’re damning us all by doing this!”

He pushed the button as he reached the top, gritting her teeth at her words, feeling sick to his stomach that they were falling from her lips. He didn’t see her collapse into tears, lying on the ground in a fetal position, and she didn’t see that he fell on his knees, crying as the ramp closed.

* * *

“So, if all goes as planned, we’ll be making another strike next week. Do you have any advice?”

Padmé turned and looked at Mon Mothma disdainfully. “I have been here for months, a veritable prisoner, rather than an ally because you don’t trust me, or my former relationship to the Emperor, and now you ask for my advice?”

“A simple yes or no would suffice,” Mon replied with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, I have advice,” the former Senator replied, turning to look back out the small window that gave her a minuscule view of Yavin IV. “Based on what you’ve told me, my advice is to give up. Every time the Rebel Alliance claims victory on one planet, the Empire welcomes a system into its embrace, and all it costs is the lives of good people. Siblings, children, parents, torn from each other.”

“You should not talk like that.”

“I saw it when I was fourteen and then I forgot,” Padmé said in a singsong, playing idly with a strand of her hair. “The Republic stopped functioning a long time ago, and that paved the way for Palpatine, but we all refused to see it.”

“This is not like you, it’s that… that  _ thing—” _

“For the sake of any friendship we might have once had, do not finish that sentence.” Padmé’s hands let go over her hair, coming to rest on a stomach that was just beginning to swell with her second pregnancy. “My child is not a thing.”

“It is affecting your mind! Clouding your judgment. You are thinking like one of them. And you wonder why we distrust you.”

“I never said I wondered. I know why. I wouldn’t have trusted me either. I wonder at your audacity. At your blindness. Your efforts to liberate the galaxy only drive them further away from you.”

“Soon the Galaxy will realize that their Emperor is nothing but a dictator and an idiot,” Mon spat. “They’ll regret their alliance to the Empire.”

“You never thought him an idiot when he was on your side.”

“I never thought him a traitor either.”

“You don’t know him. Not like I did.” The past tense hurt to say.

“He banished you, pregnant, and took you away from your children. How can you still defend him? You should be eager for our plans work, that we take him down. We will give your children back to you,” Mon snapped.

“I’m past hoping for impossibilities. Was there anything else?” she asked dryly.

“No, I’ll leave you now,” Mon said, retrieving the datapad. “Rest, before that child consumes what is left of your strength.”

“My child  _ gives _ me what is left of my strength,” Padmé retorted calmly.

Mon paused to stare at her for one long moment, before leaving without another word. Outside, Bail Organa waited for her.

“Is she any better?” he asked worriedly.

“She is further gone than we believed,” Mon scowled. “She believes that our cause has already failed. I say this is  _ his  _ influence. After all, she does carry his blood inside of her. It could be tainting her. We don’t know how the Dark Side works.”

Organa sighed, pursing his lips. “Then we might need to consider bringing the baby to someone who does. I know where Master Yoda is in hiding on Dagobah.”

“Then when that child is born, we should take it and leave it there with him. He will know what to do with the likes of it,” Mon said.

“Mon, that might be a touch extreme, surely Padmé could go with her baby,” Bail said hesitantly, slightly unnerved by how manic his friend seemed.

“Padmé’s only hope of returning to herself is to be free from  _ him  _ and we can do that by sending that baby off to someone who knows how to deal with the power it will possess,” Mon argued.

“We still have time before the baby comes,” he pointed out. “And she will need to nurse it before we can even consider separating them.”

“Nursing will make the separation harder,” she shrugged. “You are right, though, we still have time and we’ll work on a plan before it happens. We need to worry about weakening the Emperor’s forces and have a successful strike next week.”

From the vent on her wall, the conversation drifted to Padmé’s ears, and she hugged her stomach tighter.

_ Never. _


	2. Chapter 2

“Go, go, go!” The clones swarmed through the base, shooting down rebels with deadly accuracy. “Check the cells for any imperial prisoners,” Cody ordered. “And remember, high ranking members of the Alliance are to be taken alive for trial.”

“ _ Sir,”  _ one of the clones communicated over the comm. “ _ There is someone here I think you will want to see for yourself. _ ” The Commander frowned behind his helmet, making his way through the chaos to the coordinates of the cellblock in question.

“What is it?” he asked gruffly.

“It’s the Emperor’s wife… former wife… Lady Amidala,” the clone whispered. “She has been kept as a prisoner for the Rebels and she, well,” he looked at the door. “You should see for yourself, Commander.”

Cody pushed open the door and nearly stumbled back when he saw, removing his helmet for certainty. Amidala sat on the bed, wearing a disheveled black dress and a white veil over her hair. Clutched in her arms was a bundle wrapped in a nubby, standard-issue military blanket, a bundle that fussed and squirmed as she tried to soothe it.

“Commander,” the former Senator said softly. “I surrender to your mercy and the mercy of the Empire.”

“Are you hurt, my Lady?” Cody asked, worriedly.

“I gave birth two days ago,” she answered, slipping a finger into the baby’s palm so it could grip onto something.

“We will have the medical droids on our ship take a look at you and the baby. Can you walk? We can find you a hover chair,” he suggested. Even if they had parted on terrible terms, Cody knew that if Padmé Amidala appeared hurt, or uncared for, the Emperor would rain hellfire on the guilty parties. He could already tell Bail Organa and Mon Mothma would be at the top of his list. “You’re safe now, my Lady.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. The Commander nodded at the clone who understood his order and quickly scattered to find a hover chair. “Cody…”

“Yes, my Lady?”

“I know he banished me, and I deserved it. But the baby…”

“You shouldn’t worry about him,” Cody said. “Despite what happened, I believe he will be relieved to see you. He hasn’t been the same since you’ve been gone and he will welcome you back,” he assured her, hoping that he wasn’t lying. “Is it another Prince or Princess, my Lady?”

“Shmi,” she whispered, kissing the baby’s forehead as Echo arrived with a chair. “For her grandmother. She has her eyes.”

“My Lady?” Cody offered her his hand. “You can pass our Princess to Echo, he will be at your side. We will find her a more comfortable blanket once we’re aboard the ship.”

“Careful with her,” Amidala instructed, holding out the baby with trembling hands. “She’s very small.” As if on cue, Shmi began to fuss. Echo took the child and gently swayed her to calm her down.

“It’s not the first Princess we’ve taken care of,” Cody said quietly as he helped the former Senator to the chair.

“How is Leia?” she asked immediately. “And Luke? Are they healthy? Happy?” Her voice cracked on the last word.

Cody smiled sadly. “They are healthy and strong. Spoiled with all the Galaxy has to offer. They are happy, yes, the Emperor plays with them every day and tucks them in every night,” he paused. “But everyone knows they miss their mother. You’ll be with them soon.”

“You can’t guarantee that,” she reminded him as she settled into the chair and accepted Shmi back from Echo. “The Emperor would be within his rights not to let me see them, after what I did.”

“He’s not a cruel man, my Lady,” Cody sighed as he pushed the chair. “Despite what the Rebels might think, or his past actions. Every man makes mistakes.”

“The Emperor did remove our chips,” Echo said quietly. “We fight for him because we want to.”

“You don’t have to convince me. I’ve seen the folly of the Rebels firsthand,” she said, running her fingers through the blonde curls of Shmi’s hair. “But he banished me for a reason, he’s under no obligation to forgive me.”

Echo and Cody exchanged a glance knowing that, if he played a strong facade at first, it would be exactly what the Emperor would do.

“Don’t worry about it now, my Lady. You and the Princess will be examined on board and given fresh clothes. We’ll be at Imperial Center in three days time.”

“Thank you, Cody.”

* * *

Vader drummed his fingers on the table, golden eyes focusing on the clear liquid of a glass in front of him as he let his mind wander as his Council spoke around him about the last victory over the Rebels. They were growing weak and marginalized by the Galaxy, while the Empire prospered. Yet, he couldn’t stop thinking about  _ her.  _ It had been months since he last dreamt of her, but the previous night had been filled with dreams, visions, her voice haunting him as he recalled her screams for him to forgive her, to not take her away from her children.

How many times had he planned on getting her back? Several, enough to have lost count. He had even done it once, during the night. Returned to Naboo only to be told she had joined Mon Mothma’s rebel cell. 

The twins missed her. He felt it. All the time.

To be honest, he missed her too. All of this, was because of her. It was meaningless without her.

“Your Majesty? Did you hear me?”

“No,” he answered flatly, his fingers stopping. “What is it?”

“Tax increases, sire. The campaigns are going well, but they do still cost money, something the Imperial Treasury is running out of. Someone will have to be taxed.”

“Tax the high society,” he snapped. “The ones with money in their pockets. Leave the poor alone, they already went through  _ years  _ of war, being stolen by a Republic that did nothing for them. They shouldn’t keep paying for it. Ask the rich to justify their income, to pay their taxes. The ones that refuse, bring them to me and we’ll see how persuasive I can be,” he argued.

“With all due respect, that could simply result in a new uprising—”

“PAPA!” The councilor was cut off not by Vader but by the doors being flung open and Leia toddling past the clone troopers straight to her father. “Papa, Mama, Mama!”

“I’m sorry, your Majesty,” the nanny apologized, following with Luke clutched in her arms. “She was faster than I anticipated.”

Vader chuckled. “I know,” he said, standing up to catch Leia in his arms. “We’re done here, gentlemen. My daughter was very clear.”

“Mama!” Leia shouted again.

He blinked at her slowly as the members of his Council began to leave. “You’re thinking about Mommy today, uh?” Vader whispered with a small smile. “Me too,” he confessed.

“Mama hug,” she said cryptically, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“You’re killing me, Princess,” he whispered brokenly.  _ Neither of us can hug Mommy.  _

“Zoom, zoom,” Luke spoke finally, pointing out the window at the sky where the  _ Executor _ was coming into view.

“They’ve been behaving strangely all day, I don’t know what’s the matter with them,” the nanny said.

Vader frowned, looking at the ship as it neared the surface. He nearly dropped Leia as he felt it. The familiar Force sign. The familiar brush of a soul that soothed his tormented one. “Take them to the nursery, keep them entertained,” he asked and kissed Leia’s forehead, before setting her down. “Be good, Princess,” he asked before touching Luke’s cheek. “You too.”

“Okay!” His son waved happily. “Bye!”

He waved at them as they left with their nanny. They felt her way before he did. They knew she was near then. Why was she in the  _ Executor  _ was beyond him but a part of him felt relieved and happy. The other part felt defied. After her blatant betrayal, he had given her an order. He banished her. Why was she back and why had his troops brought her aboard the ship?

A shuttle detached from the flagship, approaching the palace, and the feeling of connection grew nearer, stronger, brighter.

He brushed a hand against his stubble, making a face, unnerved. He didn’t want to probe too much into her Force signature, he didn’t want to know. Not now, not until she was standing in front of him. So he sat and he waited until the doors opened, revealing Cody, Echo, and, sitting in a hoverchair, wearing a white dress that clearly didn’t fit her and holding something he couldn’t quite recognize flush to her chest, was his ex-wife.

“We found her imprisoned in a cell on Yavin IV, sir,” Cody said.

“Imprisoned?” He repeated.

“I went to Mon Mothma seeking refuge after Naboo turned its back on me,” Padmé said softly, avoiding his gaze as she looked at whatever it was she held in her arms. “She had me placed in  _ protective custody, _ where I could not compromise the Rebellion.”

There was something different about her, and he could immediately tell that. Mon Mothma would regret her actions. Yes, he banished her and it was wrong, he admitted it. But her so-called friends had made her more of a prisoner than he ever did. “Leave us alone, please,” he asked Cody. His Commander nodded and both he and Echo left the meeting room. “Have you been seen by the medical droids?”

“On our way here,” she confirmed, still not looking at him. “I’m well enough, given the circumstances.”

“Well enough is not healthy,” he countered, hands tightening around the edges of the table he leaned against. “What circumstances are those?”

“I gave birth to Shmi five days ago,” Padmé replied. “And I haven’t slept since then, for fear they would take her from me.”

If he wasn’t leaning into something, he would have fallen over.  _ Gave birth? Shmi?  _ He looked from her thin face to the bundle in her arms, something clicking in his brain as he finally realized what, or better, who she was holding. The baby’s arm slipped out of her swaddling, waving at him slightly. He frowned, resisting the contact of the baby’s Force signature. It couldn’t be possible. “You expect me to believe it’s mine just because you gave it my mother’s name?”

“I expect nothing. You owe me nothing. I surrendered myself to the mercy of your soldiers when they opened my cell, it was Cody’s choice to bring me here,” Padmé replied. “But there is no one else who could be her father, if that’s what you mean. I’ve only ever slept with one man.”

“A child born of betrayal and hate,” he commented with a frown. “It was how she was conceived, right? Your betrayal and hate for who I became,” Vader turned away to stare at the windows.

“Do not blame her for my failures.”

He gritted his teeth, looking over his shoulder at her fragile form. No matter the negative feelings he nurtured at the moment, one thing suppressed them all. His need to protect her. “The Palace has a clinic. I would prefer if you remain there under observation. You’re not well.”

“Thank you.”

Vader nodded. “I’ll have one of the twins’ nannies to take care of the baby, so you can rest. Sleep. Once you’re better, we’ll have a more decent conversation.”

Padmé raised her eyes to look at him, finally. “Thank you, Vader. You’re more generous than I deserve.”

He blinked. “You can… you can call me Anakin, you know and… you’re the mother of my children, I told you before that despite what happened I would love you… don’t thank me,”  _ not in that way. Please. It’s not you _ . “I just want you safe.”

“I am safe now, thanks to you,” she pointed out. “I apologize if I offended, that wasn’t my intent. I didn’t know what might have changed in seven months.” Then she paused. “May I see the twins too? I’ve missed them so much.”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing to me, you aren’t offending me in any way,” he frowned, not enjoying this. What had the Rebels done to her? What had  _ he  _ done to her? “I think the twins will have a little more energy than you can handle,” he pointed out softly. “You will see them. I promise. Maybe after you rest? They will want to hang on your neck and make you play with them until  _ they  _ are tired. If you feel up to that, I can… I can take you to the nursery. But what do you think? How do you feel?”

“Tired,” she admitted. “You’re right. I need to rest.”

“You will see them, I promise,” he vowed. “They have already felt you, they won’t shut up about you until they get their chubby little hands on your hair,” a soft smile appeared on his lips. “They have missed you,” Vader added and took a couple of steps closer to her. “I’ll have the Echo and Cody escort you to the clinic. The baby will be taken care of.”

“Will you take her?” she asked softly. “I would feel better if I knew she was safe with you. They were talking about taking her to Dagobah.”

“Echo will take her to the clinic as well, the children’s medical droid will examine her there,” he took a step back. “Dagobah?” Vader frowned. “What is in Dagobah? It’s a swamp.”

“Yoda.” The single word made her face darken. “Yoda is there, and they were going to take Shmi away from me and give her to him so that he could train her.”

“That is not going to happen,” he guaranteed. “You’re here. You both are. You don’t have to worry about Yoda touching any of our children.”

“If you went there, you’d probably find Bail Organa there too,” she predicted. “He’s the one who’s known all this time. Mon Mothma’s on a base at Hoth right now.”

Vader paused, and then nodded. “I’ll take that in consideration, Padmé, thank you,” he said. “Cody?”

The doors opened and the Commander entered. “Sir?”

“Take Lady Amidala and the baby to the medical clinic. Have the twins’ medical droid examine the baby and then one of the nannies should take care of her and prepare the nursery to accommodate her. Lady Amidala should have all the medical attention she needs, understood?”

“Yes, sir,” Cody nodded and saluted. Padmé opened her mouth like she was about to suggest something again, then closed it. The baby in her arms was not so docile, shrieking loudly.

“You want to say something?” Vader asked, catching her movements. He winced at the baby’s cry.

“No,” Padmé said, rocking the little girl back and forth and hushing her nervously.

“You don’t have to be afraid of speaking to me,” he said.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to hold her before we left.”

He hesitated, looking between her and the baby she was holding. “Why?” Vader asked, quietly.

“Does there need to be any other reason beyond you being her father? She was not planned, but she is ours all the same.”

Hesitantly, he approached her and nodded. “Fine, I’ll hold her.” She turned the swaddled infant towards him, and, in that brief moment, he saw the eyes, such a dark brown that they were almost black. His mother’s eyes, ringed with gold. She was tinier than when Leia had been when she was born, or Luke and all he could think about was the fact he had missed another pregnancy entirely. The baby’s nose wrinkled as her little hand grasped about for his, seemingly unaware of the turmoil in his mind. Instinctively, he traced her tiny palm with his finger, and she settled briefly. Then she went right back to shrieking.

“She must be hungry,” Padmé said apologetically, lowering the baby. “Maybe later?”

“Yes, that will probably be the best,” he nodded and backed away.

“Let’s go, milady.” Cody took the back of the hover chair, steering it away and leaving Vader with his thoughts.

* * *

 

Padmé stirred, rubbing the sleep from her eyes drowsily before the panic set in. “Shmi?” She looked around for her baby girl wildly. “Shmi?” Then her eyes fell on Vader. “Is she alright? How long was I asleep?”

“Shmi is getting acquainted with her curious siblings,” Vader explained, the name falling from his lips in sort of a stutter, as if he didn’t use it enough. “I think Leia believes she’s a real-life doll to play with, it was funny until she tried to feed her cookies,” he bit his lower lip. “But she’s fine. You’ve been asleep for nearly two days and the medical droid said it was not enough, but it would be a start to regaining your strength.”

“I feel better already,” she said truthfully, sitting up against the pillows in her bed.

“I don’t doubt it, but he advised for absolute bedrest for the next couple of weeks,” he replied.

“I understand,” she sighed. “I might as well have been on bedrest while I was the guest of the rebels. The only time they let me out of my cell was for examinations. Or when they were moving me to a new base.” 

“Your information was correct,” he said. “Last night, we caught Bail Organa committing treason against the Empire. Before you ask, no, he wasn’t executed. His wife, Queen Breha, and I have come to an agreement. Alderaan is to join the Empire and have a new representative in the Imperial Senate and Bail is in exile on his planet, forbidden to leave, and if he communicates with any Rebel, he is to be taken to the dungeons of the Imperial Center until the end of his days. I don’t think he would do that to his wife, so he’s no longer a worry,” Vader told her.

“And Mothma?” she asked, her voice sounding detached.

“Dead,” he said flatly. “Again, not by us. She didn’t surrender. Once she figured that she was surrounded and we were going to arrest her, she killed herself with some very nasty words as her last.”

“I will not miss her.”

“I don’t think anyone will,” he snorted before sighing. “And like that… the Rebels are no more.”

“I can give you the names of other bases,” she offered. “In case there are any holdouts that might have been missed.”

“Thank you. I promise that no one will die unless extreme measures have to be taken,” he whispered. “If they are smart, they will surrender like many already did. I don’t want unnecessary bloodshed. It’s not why I do this.”

“I know that now.” Padmé’s hand drifted listlessly towards his. “It took losing you for me to understand.”

“I don’t want you to tell me what I want to hear, or what you think I want to hear,” he brought his hands to his lap. “I’ve always valued your opinion and your strong spirit and I don’t want that to change. I know I did things wrong in the beginning and banishing you was childish at best… I have so many flaws, but I don’t… I don’t wish to make you a prisoner like they did. I want you to be free to make your choices and I want you to know that whatever you decide, your children won’t be taken away,” he said in a small voice, playing with the zipper of his jacket.

“The people I thought were the champions of democracy and the good of the galaxy locked me away and planned to take our baby from me. If I had died giving birth, they wouldn’t have cared. I don’t  _ care _ about them anymore. I don’t care about anything except you and our children. It was all I could think about while I was trapped there.”

“You’re safe now and they won’t hurt either of you,” Vader assured her. “I will send an aide to help you get ready and with some clothes that fit you properly. Like I promised, you’ll see the twins soon,” he smiled and stood up. “They haven’t stopped yelling ‘Mama’ at me for the past two days,” he grimaced.

“Maybe you’re just Mama now,” she teased weakly.

“Oh, no, they know the difference,” he chuckled. “They want you and Luke threw a tantrum when I said you were resting and he couldn’t see you. I swear to you, he fell asleep on the floor while crying and banging his fists and feet on the carpet.”

“Oh, Luke,” she sighed. “Their poor nannies.”

“The aide will be here in a few minutes,” he smiled at her, before hesitating and sighing, turning around and leaving the clinic.

* * *

 

“Mama!”

“MAMA!”

The twins toppled over each other, to see who could reach her first, their nanny grimacing in the background as she fed Shmi through a bottle, sitting in a rocking chair.

“Careful, little ones,” Cody scolded, holding the hoverchair with Padmé in it steady. “Don’t crush her.”

“Nonsense, both of you come here.” Padmé opened her arms for the twins. “I’ve missed you so much, my sweet, sweet twins.”

Vader leaned against the doorway and smiled, watching them climb over her legs, to her lap and wrap their arms around her neck in excited squeals that could make someone deaf. He took this from them and he wouldn’t forgive himself so soon. He knew what it was like to be without a mother and he did that to his children and one day, he would have to answer before them.

“Oh, you’ve gotten so big,” Padmé sighed, kissing their foreheads and stroking their hair. “I missed you. Did you miss me?”

“Mama!” Luke squealed, beaming at her.

“Yes,” Leia said clumsily, one hand wrapped around Padmé’s loose curl.

“I’m so sorry I left you,” she whispered into their little shoulders. “I’m so, so  sorry, my babies.” Luke laid his little head on her shoulder and gave a happy sigh while Leia just smiled at her mother, her baby teeth already showing. Padmé rocked them back and forth, singing to them softly as she looked at Vader tearfully.

“I’ll leave you to spend the rest of the day with them,” he said quietly, guilt flooding his gaze as he looked away. “Cody will stay here and the nannies are here to help you,” he said before pushing himself off of the doorway and disappearing down the hall.

* * *

A week has passed since her return and Vader couldn’t have been happier to have her home, with the twins. He had stepped back and let her spend all the time she needed with Luke and Leia, playing with them, being in charge of their lunches and dinners, to the bedtime stories and nap time. He had been in more Council meetings than he could remember and all of them ended with a particular subject. 

Her. Padmé. How she was a threat to their safety and their intel, even if Vader assured them over and over that there wouldn’t be a repeat from last time, not after the way they treated her, not after they nearly stole their youngest to give her to Yoda, of all pesky creatures. 

Vader knew that, despite what she said, he was not her favorite person and she did not feel the same so, he didn’t push it. He was happy with just having her with the children. Safe. Healthy. He would have to come to terms with the rest. Eventually.

“You’re doing that thing with your forehead,” Padmé remarked as she kept Shmi at her breast. The twins lay asleep on the floor, covered in a pile of blankets and pillows that had briefly been a fort.

He had just walked into the nursery to give each of the children a kiss goodnight, like every day, trying not to disturb them or their mother. “What thing?” He whispered, kissing Leia’s forehead, before tucking a blanket over her and turning to Luke, sighing as the boy’s limbs were sprawled in every direction, it was a wonder how he didn’t wake up with sore muscles. He gently repositioned his son who stirred but didn’t wake up. He covered him as he did to his sister and leaned down to kiss his temple.

“That thing where the entire top half of your face wrinkles up,” she answered, stroking the blonde curls of the baby. “It was always cute, but it worries me too. Do you want to tell me about it, or just sit here with the twins?”

“Council meetings wear me out, that’s all,” he sighed as he laid down next to the twins, watching their little faces as they slept. “They got into their thick heads that you are a threat,” he confessed. “I’m handling it, I promise. They won’t do anything stupid. Eventually, they will forget all about it.”

“They’re not entirely wrong,” she pointed out softly. “At some point, you will have to decide what to do with me. Politically. I’m a thermal detonator just waiting to go off in the wrong hands.”

“Decide what to do with you?” He groaned. “You’re their mother. I don’t have to decide anything. When you decide that you want to be involved in the affairs of the Empire, we can discuss that. I’m not forcing you into an uncomfortable position just because they tell me to.”

“Vader. Anakin. I had six months where all I could do was think about the fact that all of our children would grow up without knowing one of their parents, and what could have been if I had just listened to you and accepted you. This is my choice. It’s  _ all _ my choice.”

He shook his head. “There is no need to rush into anything. Rushing into badly made decisions is what brought us all here and I’m not going to give in to their will just to please them. They are the ones who have to bend the knee to me, anyway,” he stood from his spot. “I’m going to try and get some rest. You should do the same.”

“I don’t want to be alone tonight,” she mumbled. “Will you let me sleep in your room?”

“You would be more comfortable sharing their fort,” he nodded to the mountain of blankets and pillows around the two toddlers. “They’re cuddlers.”

“Will you join us?”

He looked down at his hands. “Maybe next time. I have some light reading waiting for me.”

“We’ll be here if you change your mind.” The way she said it made it clear she was not just talking about the fort.

“Good night, Padmé, sleep well. Careful with Luke. He’s a kicker and Leia likes to slap people awake,” he smirked, turning the night light on, flooding the nursery with stars and ships.


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing was her undergarments— black lace thong and matching corset, followed by voluminous petticoats. Then came the dress itself, mesh and lace and beading and feathers all the same deep onyx color hugging her torso and arms before billowing out from her waist in a massive skirt. Then the jewelry, her japor snippet now placed on a black metal collar so that it rested at the hollow of her throat and glittering black diamonds dangling from her ears. The last steps were her hair, braided into a crown with a few wisps artfully escaping around her face, and her makeup, dark shadows carefully smudged on her eyelids and her lips stained to a bloody crimson gleam.

She was ready. “Cody?”

“Yes, my Lady?” The Commander entered the room and made a short bow. “You look beautiful, as always.”

“Thank you,” she said demurely. “Will you please inform them that I’m ready? And get my children? I want to see them one more time.”

“Yes, my Lady,” he nodded and left.

Minutes later, Leia and Luke were bursting through the door to grab at her dress, while the nanny carried Shmi at her hip.

“Mommy,” Luke beamed. “Pretty.”

“Bwah,” Shmi said before sucking on her fist.

“Pretty,” Leia repeated, her little fingers touching the stones and feathers.

“I’m sorry, my lady, she touches everything.”

“It’s fine,” Padmé reassured the nanny. “I just wanted to speak to them and let them know this isn’t going to change anything. I will still be the same Mommy who loves them very much.”

“Yes, of course.”

“I would kiss you two right now if I didn’t have to keep my makeup intact,” she informed them, ruffling the twins’ hair.

“I will take them to their seats, my lady, and they have promised to behave for the right incentives,” the nanny smiled fondly. “Come along, Luke. Leia. Let’s leave your mother be for now.”

“Mommy loves you,” Padmé called again as they left her.

She’d half lied. Today would absolutely change things. She only hoped that it would be for the better. Swallowing her nerves, she walked out of the dressing room and into the antechamber, waiting for the signal that she was to enter the throne room. 

The Imperial March started, signaling that they were ready for her. Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door and began the walk down the aisle at the center of the grand hall, her eyes firmly affixed on the throne at the end of it, and, more importantly, the man who sat there.

His face was serious and his eyes didn’t leave hers for more than a few steps before he looked down, hands tightening their hold on each arm of the throne he sat in. She raised one of her own hands to touch the japor snippet, as she made the last few paces of the journey, and knelt before him at the base of the stairs leading up to the throne.

He rose from the throne and offered her his hand as a Pontifex approached them. They were supposed to wed first and then do the coronation and he couldn’t wait until he was done with both, the whole spectacle annoying him.

“We are gathered to witness the marriage of his Majesty the Emperor to the Lady Padmé Naberrie, once Queen Amidala of the Naboo,” the old man intoned. “Lady Padmé, will you swear to be ever loving and loyal to his Majesty, seeking only to bring him joy, comfort, and solace, this day and all the days to come?”

“With all my heart, I do so swear,” Padmé replied solemnly, rising to her feet and gripping Vader’s hand as she did so.

“Your Majesty, do you take Lady Padmé Naberrie, once Queen Amidala of Naboo, as your wife, swearing to be ever loving and loyal to her, seeking only to bring her joy, comfort, and solace, this day and all the days to come?”

“I do,” he replied quietly, looking down at their joined hands, frowning slightly at how different her touch felt.

There was a moment of deadly silence, and then the Pontifex raised his hand. “Then may the Force be with you both, for I now declare you to be wed, for now, and forever.” Padmé didn’t hesitate to close the distance between her and Vader, pressing her lips to his in a gentle kiss. He kissed her back, softly, but pulled back after a few moments.

“We should proceed with the coronation, your Majesty,” the Pontifex said, looking at Vader meaningfully.

“Indeed,” he agreed and nodded at an aide, partially hidden at the left of the throne. The aide approached them with a purple pillow, supporting a delicate but intricate crown. Taking a deep breath he climbed one step to be a little higher than Padmé and took the crown into his hands. He was trembling, so he hesitated until he regained control of his muscles. “As my wife, and my equal, it is your right and duty to become Empress of the Galaxy, defender of the people and protector of our values,” he spoke calmly and his voice was heard by the people closest to him, but he was sure that in the edges of the throne room, he couldn’t be heard. He didn’t care about it, as he placed the crown between her braided tresses.

“I accept the office and swear that I will serve the Empire and its people well,” Padmé promised, her voice carrying across the throne room far more clearly.

“Mommy!” the twins shouted, clapping wildly despite their nanny’s attempts to quiet them, and the rest of the assembly began to follow suit.

Again, Vader offered her his hand, this time to lead her to the smaller throne sitting next to his so their allies could swear their allegiance to her as well. Padmé settled into the chair easily and regally but did not let go of his hand, not until the nanny brought the children forward with a bow. “Your Majesties,” the older woman said.

“Come here, darlings,” Padmé said, releasing Vader’s hand so she could take Shmi into her arms. Luke and Leia moved towards their father, smiling widely and clearly eager to sit on his lap. Vader shook his head, amused, and let the two toddlers climb him like a tree. He winced as they weren’t particularly gentle, kicking and unintentionally hitting him as they settled into a comfortable position. Leia hugged his neck and kissed his cheek as the next dignitary approached them.

“Your Majesties, the Corellian system is pleased to wish you both a lifetime of happiness and may our relationship remain peaceful,” the Ambassador said, kneeling before the couple.

Vader nodded at Padmé for her to be the one to reply. After all, they have pledged themselves to him before, this was about her.

“We thank you,” she said, running her fingers through Shmi’s hair as she nodded her head in acknowledgment. “And may it also bring prosperity.”

She was a natural, just as she had always been. It seemed odd now that she had ever resisted being Empress when she was so well-suited to it.

“Thank you, your majesty,” the Ambassador nodded, pleased, and stood to give place to another dignitary.

“I know this is torture for you, and I’ll make it up to you later,” Padmé whispered to Vader.

“It’s alright, this is more for you and I don’t mind, I have these little terrors to distract me,” he replied with a half-smile as he bounced Luke in one knee, making him giggle. Padmé gave a small laugh before turning her attention to the delegates from Bespin.

* * *

 

“We could always slip out, you know,” Padmé suggested between sips of wine. “Kiss the children goodnight, get a brief reprieve.”

“If you’re tired, yes, we can,” Vader nodding, leaning against his seat, almost lazily twirling the glass of wine in his hand. “It has been an exhausting day and I believe we spoke with everyone we had to anyway.”

“Everyone who came,” she agreed rather bitterly. Her family had been noticeably absent.

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking down at his glass. “I know you miss them. It’s not fair.”

“It’s not your fault they can’t accept you. Or us.”

Vader bit the inside of his cheek to keep a comment to himself and instead, took a sip of wine. “Maybe you should visit them with the twins and Shmi, later. They’ll eventually come around, if not for you, for their grandchildren.”

“Naboo is my past, you and the children are my future. I will not beg their approval.”

“It’s not begging and that is not exactly your past, I know how much Naboo means to you and the children should know that heritage, they should play with their cousins,” he frowned. “With time, they will accept it. I know they love you.”

“And when they accept it, they are free to visit us,” she said, draining the last of her wine.

Vader sighed. “It’s’ your family, you should handle it how you feel is best.”

“You’re my family.” She stood. “And so are those three little treasures in the nursery. That’s what matters now.”

"True," he nodded thoughtfully. "You know," Vader started slowly, "today would have been the fifth anniversary of our first wedding?" 

“Really?” She looked at him, tilting her head as she processed the information. “How apt. But I think this one will be better, don’t you? No war to separate us, and I finally understand you as I should.”

"I like the part where there isn't a war anymore," he nodded and filled his glass again, taking a generous sip. 

He knew she wasn't the same, so he wouldn't bother commenting on her last statement. The spark that had once been there was gone and he knew he was to blame for it. But there was nothing he could do to change what happened. He had been trying to make it better since the day she arrived in the  _ Executor  _ and he could pat himself on the back, believing it was working if he didn't know better. 

She wasn't happy. Not as she could have been if Obi-Wan had won that day in Mustafar. Vader knew she was happy whenever she was with the children. But them? They were different and he was afraid that one day later, all she'd feel for him was hatred. 

“Love? Are you coming?”

Vader looked up, confused for a moment. "What? I was distracted. Where?" 

“The nursery,” she reminded him. “To say goodnight to the children.”

"Oh, yes, right," he stood up, trying not to wobble due to the considerable amount of wine he had since the festivities started.

“Where did your mind go just now?”

"Nowhere special," he lied smoothly. 

“Well, please try to stay with me from now on."

He chuckled. "I'll give my best, I promise."

“Thank you, my love.” She placed another kiss on his lips, smiling blissfully as she pulled away.

"Anything to make you happy," he replied. 

“I’m more than happy,” Padmé promised, tugging him down the hall to where their children waited. “I feel...perfect.”

"You do?" He asked suspiciously, following her at a more relaxed pace. 

“Why should I feel anything else?”

He could enumerate a couple of major reasons but he kept them to himself, shrugging instead. "I don't know. Perhaps because nothing is really perfect."

“Of course it is. We have each other. And the children. And peace is finally coming. We have everything we’ve ever wanted, everything we’ll ever need. You’re just not used to it yet,” she said brightly.

"How much wine did you have?" He raised his eyebrows at the unusual, perky attitude.

“Not that much,” answered Padmé blissfully. “It’s just that you mentioning the date helped me adjust my perspective a little.”

"It would be okay if you weren't… happy with some of the circumstances. It really would. I know not everything is perfect, how you would like it to be and you don't have to be happy, or perfect for my sake," he said. "Honestly. You can tell me the truth."

“The truth is that I  _ am _ happy,” she said, her voice taking on a slightly cold edge as she looked at him. “And it hurts me that you don’t think that’s true.”

"I don't… I don't want to hurt you, I swear," he rushed to apologize. "All that I want is for you to be happy, above everything else. I don't want a facade for my benefit but… but I'll believe you."

“After what lying to you cost me before, why would I ever do that again? In any way? Have I failed you that badly?”

"No," he shook his head, regretting voicing his fears. "No, you haven't. I know you are not lying. I'm sorry. I was the one who had too much to drink. Don't mind my words," he sighed, dropping his shoulders. 

“It’s fine.” She placed a hand on his cheek. “You’re tired. We’ll spend a little time with the children, and we’ll go to bed, and in the morning, we’ll both see things more clearly and everything will be better. Don’t you think?”

Vader cradled her face between his hands. "I love you. I love you more than my own life. Whatever I have to do to make you happy, I will, no matter the cost. I know my flaws. But I know I'll do anything for you and I am sorry for what I've done to you in the past. I'll be better, I promise."

She kissed his palm, smiling softly. “I know. I believe you.”

He nodded, dropping the subject. "Let's go and see the children."

“Of course, my love.” All Padmé’s sorrow immediately dissolved back into that blissful smile that was almost vacant.

This was not happiness. This was a very well structured lie, made to convince herself that she was happy when he knew the truth and it hurt him more than he could put into words. Nothing was ever going to be the same again. 


End file.
